Rites of Passage

My daughter and her lovely boyfriend got engaged a few weeks ago, much to everyone's great joy. The proposal took place on the oldest working wooden roller coaster, in Tivoli Gardens, Copenhagen. I like the symbolism. The roller coaster of life. There has been a flurry of decisions and arrangements as a date and venue are set for this time next year.On Thursday morning we went to look at wedding dresses at a proper specialist wedding dress shop, a new experience for both of us. She looked gorgeous in all the ones she had chosen to try on. When I got married the first time, we had a traditional wedding. My parents seemed to organise it and they certainly paid for it. I remember meeting the vicar,and going for lunch at the hotel we later booked for the reception. My bridesmaid and I went to choose a boutique bought long dress for her to wear. My husband to be had a white suit made, at a bespoke tailors. A clothing designer friend made my dress for me. I can recall going to buy the fabric, blues and creams, floral and floaty with ribbons and flowers and butterflies in lace. I wish I had kept it. I hand wrote the invitations, using cards with an image of Breughel's wedding feast. None of it was stressful. I was doing my first year exams at University a few weeks before the date. The style of the wedding was traditional, but the friends who came were a troupe of beautiful hippies. Velvet jackets,long curly cavalier hair styles for the men, ethnic dresses,flowing locks,loon pants and embroidered mirrored t-shirts. I need to look for the photos. A bright sunshiny day. My second wedding was simple and a secret, with two good friends as witnesses. It took place in a registry office, and we only announced it after the event. I wore a white cotton dress from Warehouse, where I was working at the time. There are only two photos. So once a bridesmaid, twice a bride and here I am as the mother of the bride. It's forty years since my first marriage. Things have changed in the wedding world, and it's going to be an exciting and interesting time. No doubt I will write about some of it here.