A single to Sheffield

I often ponder my relationship status, having been single for many years now. There have been times when I have longed to meet a soulmate. There have also been times when I thought I had, only to be disappointed. I've been thinking about this topic as a suitable subject for discussion for a while, and I have to admit that it is the inclusion of the fictional singleton, Bridget Jones, on the Woman's Hour power list this week that has spurred me to action. Much as I enjoyed the book at the time, I can't begin to identify with her desperation and never did. At a completely different stage of life, with three children, two former marriages and about to become a grandmother for the first time, I can look back over my years as a single parent and responsible adult with a sense of achievement. I embrace my single status and appreciate celibacy and all. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a natural nun, in spite of the traumas of a convent education. Do I have trust issues? Definitely ! I also love my strong friendships and they haven't always been compatible with being one of a couple. There are times when it would be wonderful to have someone in my corner with practical help and emotional support. To have someone make me a cup of tea first thing in the morning and rub my back last thing at night. Someone to admire and appreciate me. I think it was Adrian Henri who wrote' Love is a fan club with only two fans'. I'm lucky because I see those strong and loving relationships close by me, for my children and my good friends. I know they exist and I can admire and appreciate them. Over the years I've resisted well meaning attempts to match make or to get me to sign up for Guardian soulmates and Internet dating. Not my way, though I'm sure it works for some. There are times when I wish I was part of a couple. I never expected anything else when I was younger. There are times when I realise how much I enjoy living alone. There are issues of freedom and status in society that still take me by surprise. People say a trouble shared is a trouble halved, but I am aware that in a relationship the opposite can happen, and it results in double trouble. Life is so complicated! So thank you family and friends for being the love of my life.